Characters in this farce

Miss Anthropy: twenty-something college student in Berkeley, California.  This is my blog about being single.

Princess: twenty-something college student in Santa Clara, California.  More or less my only female friend in the state.  I’ve known her since we were very small and in ballet class together.

Mr. Australia: my current special friend, who is indeed actually from Australia.  I met him at my rock climbing gym, Planet Granite.  Mr. Australia is an engineering type of person and his favorite color is red, although he is also partial to black.  There are many short-sleeved polos in his wardrobe.  A very nice guy, though I may be biased. =)

Gym Buddy: friend from high school who also goes to college with me and who makes sure that I’m dragging my ass to the gym every night.  He is fantastic and tall and blond and very patient with my whining.  He has told me that when I get my motorcycle, he will ride on the back and be my “Aryan Bitch.”

Dr. Bro: one of my dear roommates, I’ve known him since high school.  One of my staunchest allies, he fulfills my quota for “one frat boy friend.”  Dr. Bro is hopeless in the kitchen (one of my favorite stories involves him trying to convince me that the pilot light chamber in our stove was actually a toaster oven).  Dr. Bro is a very smart twenty-something college student who studies Physics and Computer Science, but refuses to let me call him a geek.

Techie: my other darling twenty-something roommate who dropped out of our college (boo) to join a technology startup (yay) as an engineer/co-founder/CTO.  He has excellent taste in dancing music, although he had the audacity to ask me if I had iTunes, and if I knew how to use it.  Techie has wonderful speakers too, and all sorts of fantastic electronic toys (not sex toys) that he likes to bring out and show me and then hide in his room so I can’t play with them.

Nomad: my best friend since 7th grade, who is currently studying abroad in Budapest.  Even when she isn’t in Europe, she attends college in Maryland, so boo to that!  In fact, boo to the entire state of Maryland and all one hundred and three of its residents.  Nomad loves to travel and does all kinds of sports and extracurricular activities while maintaining her 4.0.  In fact, if I were a bit more like Nomad, I probably wouldn’t be single.

Plum Muffin: my other best friend since 8th grade, who is studying abroad in York.  She is graduating this year and has a job lined up as Cisco (financial analyst).  Very tiny and cute and hilariously crazy, she works like a horse and parties like a…fish?  Butterfly?  Something that’s good at having fun.  Again, if I were more like Plum Muffin, I definitely wouldn’t be single and then you wouldn’t be able to read this blog, which I’m sure would be tragic for many of you.

The Girlfriend: the beautiful significant other of Dr. Bro.  I can overlook the fact that she is from the south (Texas) because she is very patient with my hopeless Dr. Bro.  The girlfriend is a runner of long distances, which is impressive but impractical for me, as I have very stubby legs and am very lazy.  The Girlfriend and I both have birthdays in October, but I think that I am somewhere between three and ten days older than her.

My Lady: Techie’s girlfriend, although I have told him that if he doesn’t treat her well, I will rescue her from him and date her myself.  This all started when Techie brought for her dinner some horribly dessicated piece of processed meat that he was TRYING to pass off as a gourmet hot dog.  I think he actually expected My Lady to eat it too, which was clearly not going to happen on my watch.  My Lady is very clever and practices the brain science University of California, San Francisco and wants to go to grad school there.  Because, like I said, she is a very clever lady.

My Parents’ Favorite (MPF): my speech and debate partner from high school.  This guy is a geek in nicest sense, the kind of guy who programs games for his ridiculous graphing calculator.  Finished his pre-law degree in 3 years, he’s going to law school this coming year, probably in Chicago.  My parents love MPF more than they love me, which is annoying but also funny because my parents can be very, er, intense in their affections.  Sometimes MPF won’t cut his hair for a while and then he turns into the poster boy for emo hairstyling.  In fact, MPF dressed up as an emo kid, complete with eyeliner, for my 17th birthday party, which I have never forgotten and will never let him forget either.

Big Brother: my most recent ex, who is also a rock climber.  He is an eagle scout and he is better at doing the dishes than I am.  Big Brother has very excellent taste in TV shows, particularly those of the British persuasion, although he prefers his movies like his steak: bloody.  There is virtually nothing that Big Brother will not eat, although he is a fan of both meat and curries.

Little Brother: Big Brother’s…little brother.  He’s graduating from high school this year and will soon join the thronging masses of overworked, underslept, and mediocrely sexed college students.  Little Brother is very tall and at one point had very pretty highlights in his hair.  He is an artist who prefers the written word, and I have seen him in some very entertaining plays.  I wish Little Brother lived closer to me because it takes forever to get to his house, althoguh teh company is always worth the slog.

To be continued as the blog progresses…